Being offline

So the other day something happened that really annoyed me. I signed onto Skype after having not signed on in about a day, and was greeted with no less than five people yelling at me, all asking why I hadn’t been online. This is a response to those messages.

Now why, people who send me those messages, is there an “offline” button in the first place if you’re not meant to take advantage of it? Why can’t I get off my own damn computer for five seconds to go do something? I do have a life, surprisingly, and that life–much like my online life–must be taken care of. But here’s the difference: online, there’s not much to be worried about as long as you stay on reputable sites and whatnot. But in this cool thing called reality, there is a lot to worry about. Like starving to death. Or going to the bathroom. Or sleeping. You know, little things.

So I’m so very sorry I wasn’t there to talk about how you just beat another dragon in Skyrim. Or about how you just found seven diamonds in Minecraft. Really, I am! But unfortunately real life is a lot more challenging than online life and, as such, I am forced to back away from my computer every now and then to tend to it.

Please, stop spamming me with messages when I’m offline. Here’s a little tidbit of info for everyone messaging me: if I don’t respond within one minute of your message, that means I’m either A) offline or B) not wanting to talk to you. And don’t do the whole “he didn’t respond the first few messages so let me come back in an hour and try again” routine. No. I always respond to sent messages when I get them after signing back on. Always. So there’s no need to spam my IM chat window or whateverthefuck to try and “get my attention”. If I didn’t respond an hour ago, and I haven’t responded yet, I’M STILL OFFLINE. And stop posting freaking status updates saying “GET ONLINE” because the only way I can see that is by being online, and it’s quite counter-intuitive to post a status telling me to get online if I’m already online.

Thank you for reading. I’m going offline now. To eat. Because that’s what real life people do.

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